“You’re making it impossible for me to be the mother I always imagined I would be” – smiley crying emoji needed here…
Picture this: Clean dungarees, smooth French plaits- finished off with matching hair bands, and clips, shoes on the correct feet, oh with a PAIR of socks inside them, teeth brushed, and actually cleaned, a healthy breakfast of muslei with a piece of fruit washed down with a homemade smoothly, all consumed at the kitchen table while singing the alphabet song.
Ahhh this is what I thought I would achieve everyday as a muma. A Hollywood version of motherhood. Instead I seem to be in the staring role of a Carry On film! What’s more I truly believe I could achieve this hankered after ideal- if it wasn’t for my children!
Somehow our mornings go more like this:
Was-washed-possibly-ironed-at-some-point-now-scrunched-up-in-drawer outfit, hair grabbed at through shouting and then bribery and tamed somehow into a version of a pony tail maybe with with one clip- hopefully the Elsa one. One bed sock (madams current fave) and one trainer sized sock, shoes on wrong feet. Corrected- hopefully, but not always, before getting out of the car at nursery drop off. Breakfast would have been “NUTELLA I ONLY WANT NUTELLA”, with a nesqik milkshake thrown together the minuite I step over the kitchen threshold at approx 6.50am. All gobbled down while I am asked one of life’s pressing questions like “mummy when will the magic powers begin to come out of my hands?”.
All to the backdrop of ToddlerMonster’s morning whinging, or meddling. The new Toilet Dash game is seriously keeping me on my toes, and wearing rather thin now. She may only be half a metre tall but that girl could give bolt a run for his money once she has a found a lucky object destined for the porcelain treasure chest in her hand.
I’m resigning myself to the fact that this ‘Perfection’ can not be achieved one handed. As in actually ONE HANDED! It’s amazing really how many chores you can do one handed! – load and unload the dishwasher, make dinner, bake a cake- yes really.
If I had the use of both hands, frankly I’d be dangerous! But maybe I would achieve that allusive perfection?!