The way of the world: according to my ToddlerMonster

  1. The louder you scream the more you shall achieve.
  2. The word Me should be included at the beginning and end of each sentence reinforcing ones importance.
  3. Eat with your hands: it’s quicker and you can lick them later for a little dinner reminder.
  4. Only Paw Patrol should be on the television. Anything else is simply an oversight by management.
  5. Pasta & grated cheese IS the ultimate dinner. Don’t be cute and mix it up: you cannot improve on perfection. I will only feed it to the dog. And smear it up the wall.
  6. Washing hair is an unnessesery torture occurring right in the middle of the most fun part of the day. Scream & then scream some more: Chase is surely on the case.
  7. The Park is the single most important destination goal of each day. Do not rest until you have been on the Weeeeeeeeengs.
  8. Closely followed by soft play: Nothing beats seeing management spat out by the foam rollers.
  9. Run, don’t ride. Why would you want to sit in a buggy when you could be running everywhere so much faster. Efficiency is key.
  10. Teeth are the most successful persuasion tool we have. especially on siblings.

Thank me later- I’m off to update the memo board on the back of my bedroom door – with management’s eyeliner.
DomesticatedMomster

DomesticatedMomster

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I am a Muma to 2 little girls, aged 5 & 2. We are seaside dwellers, and I 'only work inside the house' according to my eldest. I love to share the funny side of parenting as well as boldly going where no right minded parents of toddlers would go: to restaurants. Seeking out the most child friendly joints and passing on my findings to all of you to enjoy! I'm basically blogging my way back to sanity!

4 thoughts on “The way of the world: according to my ToddlerMonster

  1. I wish that I could tell you that it gets better as they get older …. but it doesn’t. Right now my 5 year old is throwing a fit because for the past hour I have been going over letter recognition with her and finally got frustrated and had to give up. (I was never meant to be a teacher). I would rather run through the sprinklers then teach letter recognition. So now she is pouting and kicking the wall about every 2-3 minutes in her bedroom and I can feel my fuse getting shorter and shorter. The other two are playing so well together. It’s always one that has to be the outcast for the day. UGH…motherhood just really blows sometimes. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink. In cased you missed this weeks you can still link up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh god yes my eldest is the same age as yours: we call it phonics where we are and it’s pretty much an Alecwl just for the parents to learn HOW the kids are taught these days. It’s so hard! I’m also very dyslexic which just adds to the difficulties of this!! 🙈🙈 good luck with the rest of the holibobs hunipi xxxxx

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