Is it ever really possible to feel like your ‘old self’ again?

I used to be obsessed with my old self.

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By Old self, I am of course talking about my pre-baby days. My twenties. Those care free days when weekends were one long party, social after social. My legs were cellulite free, my stomach wasn’t bearing the scar of 2 caesareans and I could squint in the sunlight without fear that my face had just concertinaed up. My Old self didn’t have to worry about anyone else. I thought this was great.

And it was great. But I got caught up in this gig called ‘Adulting’. I was cheated out of my twenties, by the thirties bug.

I was earwigging to a conversation a group of girls were having recently, one of them was saying that she couldn’t wait to have a bit of time off from parenting so she could ‘feel like her old self again’. Is that even possible? Is it that easy for us Mumas to revert back to those days? Is it possible to shake total responsibility and that dull ache of worry for our children, and, in its place, have a truly carefree head-in-the-clouds break?

I would love to find the ‘off’ switch sometimes. Pop the kids in the cupboard with my very adult ironing board and skip off to an all-day session.

I love a break, mini break, evening break, hell I’d take a coffee break. But it no longer makes me feel like my pre baby self, my old self. I can’t really remember who that person was anymore. Obviously the silly giggly gormless girl still lives inside of me but she grew some wrinkles, I think she found some morals and her head definitely won’t let her get away with buying the cheapest wine on the shelf anymore. Sigh.

The thing is I don’t mind. I’ve stopped looking for my old self. I’m growing really quite fond of this old bag instead. Life in the Thirties lane gets my vote. Over the past 5 years I have grown to love my Muma responsibilities, no I won’t get slushy, but it is pretty cool being someone’s ‘go-to’. However my wardrobe has taken a bit of a nose dive in the fashion stakes: I own a coat with a hood and wear it. Heels feel barbaric (how did I ever run up and down escalators in these) I now look like I need a wee when I walk in them. I love an elasticated waist – and still can’t part with my gigantic caesarean pants!

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But I wonder if hankering after your twenties self is universal to all, kids or no kids? I don’t think my girls should shoulder all of the blame for the loss of my ‘old self’. Cellulite is not exclusive to us Mumas, likewise those long forgotten bikini pogo stick figures. Wrinkles don’t just target those who procreate – although I do claim the baggage under my eyes as being a direct result of 5 years of baby induced sleep deprivation.

Is it really entirely the fault of my children that I own a sewing kit, a ‘general cards’ basket, gift wrapping caddy, a steam mop and a sodding great hose?! Probably not…

That’ll be my old self playing at Adulting then.

 Adulting with my new hose! Twenties self would be puking in the corner.

 

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Cuddle Fairy

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I am a Muma to 2 little girls, aged 5 & 2. We are seaside dwellers, and I 'only work inside the house' according to my eldest. I love to share the funny side of parenting as well as boldly going where no right minded parents of toddlers would go: to restaurants. Seeking out the most child friendly joints and passing on my findings to all of you to enjoy! I'm basically blogging my way back to sanity!

24 thoughts on “Is it ever really possible to feel like your ‘old self’ again?

    1. Hey,
      Thanks for taking a look. Well I have probably scared you off for good if you haven’t done the M or BABY yet! 😱ah!
      Being a mum is just like being a pimped up version of yourself: it’s all good!! Xx

      Like

  1. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!! Spot on as always….great post! I’m with you lovely. Would never trade life in the thirties lane for the old me. I like the new me better. She’s less self-indulgent, more compassionate and has a bigger heart. All things my little one has given me. We’re still the same us, I think. We’re just better versions of us. Xxx #bloggerclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you hunipi!
      It’s funny isn’t it, this Mum lark. I count down the minuites until nursery / school begin and then I spend my child free morning thinking about the girls 😂😳. Ffs.
      Big hearts with big glasses of wine xxxx

      Like

  2. You know what? I think we look back at our 20s with rose-tinted glasses. I know my 20s, while they were wine-fuelled and tottering on heels, were also the most uncertain, anxiety-ridden days of my life. It feels much more secure and relaxed now – carefree in a different way.

    I love this post though. #BloggerClubUK

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think every age can be pretty good if you manage to avoid looking too far forwards or too far backwards. There are definitely parts of my 20s I’d love to still have / relive, but not enough of them to make me want to give up what I’ve got now! #BloggerClubUK

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I was greedy and didn’t have my son until I was 39, so made my 20’s last well into my 30’s! I do often look back and cry out “oh, do be care free” but hey you’re right, the times now are more rewarding. It was a very selfish lifestyle and I think I’ve finally adjusted! Love the hosepipe vid #BloggerClubUK

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This was a great read, I really enjoyed it! I think when we look back at the past we only remember the good stuff, but when you’re in the moment it’s easier to focus on the negative so you don’t appreciate what you will later look back on fondly. I’m trying to stop that because I’m currently on maternity leave and want to appreciate every moment!
    #bloggerclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well i think i would like to have a little of the free time I used to have, but am happier now with my self.. i think you care less and get more confident as you get older. so a combination of the two would be nice! #bloggerclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Apart from more wobbles about the middle I don’t miss my old self! Of course, one gin is enough nowadays, it used to take several to make me feel tiddly, so I am probably a cheaper night out nowadays!

    Love the blog #BloggerClubUK

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m defo a cheaper night out too!! Too many wines and I’ll pay for it for about 3 days… Where’s the fair in that! Xxx

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  8. Haha this is brilliant! I feel bad even admitting it sometimes but I totally pine for my old self…I was so relaxed without a worry in the world 😉 I wouldn’t change it for the world but maybe just for a few hours or a mini break weekend… #bloggerclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ohh I do know what you mean. I often finding myself wondering if I’ll ever see any of my old self again……unlikely, ha. That being said I am happy where I am with life just wish I wasn’t getting older! Thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is an awesome post and a topic I’ve pondered myself many times. As well as becoming a mum in my 29th year I also experienced PND and a breakdown of my mental health. These two things have combined to create a very different, new person.

    For a long time, I hankered for Old Me, as I call her, but all that search did was make me miserable. These days I embrace New Me fully – I’m more positive, mentally stronger and generally a better person in a lot of ways.

    I still think it’s vital to have time to reconnect with yourself though and indulge in the things you love to do, only I call this person Laura 2.0 – an upgraded version of the old me xx #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that idea of 2.0 Laura!! What a brilliant concept: and totally true. It’s a constant battle to keep on the up n up for the kids isn’t it… Esp when they use your eyeliner on the back of their brand new oak bedroom door 😱🙈🙈🙈. Xxx

      Like

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