It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes…

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes… 
Oh not.
Thanks Nelly but I think I’m good, I’ll just sit here at the park supervising the Toddler-Movement with my black skinnys on getting an increasingly sweaty crack- just in case little Gabriel’s Muma should notice my unshaven white luminous legs in the shorts I really wish I was wearing.
OR
I would come and splash in the waves at the beach kids, but Muma hasn’t got herself ‘bikini ready’ and an off guard super fun wade-about is not want this hairy, non-bronzed non-svelte, Muma wants to take part in.Sorry.

But here’s the thing, and this is actually quite a liberating thought:

NO ONE ELSE CARES!

  • No one else cares that you have hairy knees, or the grey tinge of dry shampoo around your hair line.
  • No one else cares that you have a serious muffin-top situation going on with the vest / shorts combo that you HAD to wear for fear of actually melting into the playground.
  • No one else cares that you have a set of dodgy tan lines or cellulite craters which resemble the surface of the moon.
  • No one else cares if you have a spotty chin that day following a satisfying chocolate binge, or the deepest darkest bags under your eyes thanks to a week of 5am wake up calls.

We are our own worst critics; I can often be found scanning for the onset of a wispy beard, assessing the severity of my tash or god forbid NEW LINES. I’m pretty sure those people I come into contact with are not busy scanning my face for excess stragglers. That would be verging on obsessive. So it’s just me then: Tweezers out, scanning. Obsessively.

  • My kids don’t care if I show off a bit of veiny ghost-leg when the temperature gauge soars off the scale. But they sure as hell will care if I don’t take them to the local Zoo for fear of a death-by-denim situation, in the scorching heat.
  • My kids don’t care if I look suspiciously pregnant in my bikini and my arse wobbles like a big whitish-blue jelly…(ewwww). They just see their Muma: splashing around with them in the wee-infested toddler pool. And I’m pretty sure that’s all they will remember.

Today is set to be one of the hottest days of the year so far. I shall don my DaisyDukes, which are inappropriately short and spend the day playing with my toddler in the sunshine, hopefully avoiding a sweaty crack moment. She won’t mind the ice cream gut I have been putting so much work into lately, or the dodgy tan lines that are all over my shoulders. I’m pretty sure the fellow Muma’s at the Zoo aren’t going to mind my get-up either. They will be too busy keeping eyes on their own charges to care about my hairy thigh situation.
Break out the bikinis and shorts, the flimsy dresses and the skirts. No one is actually looking at you the way you look at yourself in the mirror. (Picture the flab-grab, and the, suck it in-and-out, the, turn-around-and-strain-neck-to-check-butt-size-with-the-lock-jaw-look. These special ‘poses’ are fairly sacred. No one else need share in these moments, they are reserved just for us.)
Of course, I’ll have to remind my MumaSquad of this tomorrow before they raise their eyebrows at my tropical ensemble.

Loud n proud Mumas, loud n proud…
Because, you know what: No one else cares!

Posted by

I am a Muma to 2 little girls, aged 5 & 2. We are seaside dwellers, and I 'only work inside the house' according to my eldest. I love to share the funny side of parenting as well as boldly going where no right minded parents of toddlers would go: to restaurants. Seeking out the most child friendly joints and passing on my findings to all of you to enjoy! I'm basically blogging my way back to sanity!

37 thoughts on “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes…

    1. Exactly!! Today I’ll be rocking my bikini in at the kids splash park and not giving a hoot that my stomach moves about 4 seconds after the rest of my body!! 🙈🙌🙌🙌 xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Love this!I went out to the local paddling pool yesterday and realised I hadn’t shaved my legs in about a month, it was too late to do anything I was wearing a dress, they were our for the world to see and n0 one cared. After the initial horror I didn’t even care for long, was too busy having fun with my boy. I think there is a lot of unfair pressure on us women to get beach body ready, it can take the fun out of summer for some people xx #TwinklyTuesday

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this, youre so right! I wish I’d read this morning before I almost had a melt down about not having anything decent in my summer wardrobe that I can fit in 3 weeks post partum. If I’d read this I might just have pulled on whatever did fit and wore it loud and proud like I should have 😉 Emily #TwinklyTuesday

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yay, hear hear! I was at the outdoor pool today and couldn’t have cared less what anyone thought – lucky, as I remembered everything for the children but actually had to go in in my pants and top as I’d forgotten my own swimmers! Hope you survived the heat 🙂 #twinklytuesday

    Liked by 1 person

  4. In this hot weather I need a mantra ‘no one else cares, no one else cares…’ My son absolutely doesn’t care about my fat belly – in fact he thinks it’s really funny to slap it and watch it wobble #bloggerclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My kids idea of old and fat (as they constantly remind me) is ME!!: early 30’s,and size: fairly standard. 😂😂 they don’t know what they are looking at, they just love us- wobbles n all!
      Thanks for your lovely comment- loving the mantra xxxx

      Like

  5. I know I should be more like this but I’m such a huge critic of myself that it seems to come ridiculously natural to me! I need to lighten up a bit I think. Definitely food for thought. Thanks. #BloggerClubUK

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so easy to be our own worst critic isn’t it- we should all try and be a little easier on ourselves…
      Thanks so much for having a read!
      Xxx

      Like

  6. I so wish i could do this – I’m OK in the garden at home but I just can’t face it. For me it’s not really about what everyone else things it’s all about what I see and think and I don’t like it. #coolmumclub

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have a friend who is exactly the same- in fact I’m not sure she would even show her knees in the garden!!
      We are all beautiful- it’s in the eye of the beholder y’know! Hehe xxx

      Like

  7. brilliantly said! No one cares do they – it’s just us. But one little bit of advice from one mummy to another – fake bake spray – hides a multitude of sins and doesn’t streak – my total saviour xx #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A tan literally sheds at least a stone 😂😂.
      Love that tip- I’m resorting to a spray tan this eve because I ALWAYS streak!!
      I’ll have to try that brand xxx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Who cares!! – literally no one other than ourselves!!
      So liberating.
      My toddler doesn’t notice and so neither do I… Love the toddler mentality: occasionally! 😂🙌
      Rock that bikini gorgeous Muma xxx

      Like

  8. Absolutely , yes! Oh god do you know what I really wish I had learned this earlier in my life – NOBODY IS SPENDING THEIR TIME SITTING AROUND THINKING ABOUT YOU – YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT. Sorry for shouting, but if we all knew that sure would save a lot of heartache! #brillblogposts

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m totally with you!! It’s such a liberating thought!! No one is looking at my new zit or unbalanced eye liner 😂😂. No one has the time to care! Hahaha.
      Love it!! Xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Hurray to this! Sending you a huge virtual high five and possibly trying to start a Mexican Wave. At home. On my own with two under 4s. This reminds me of a recent holiday where I rushed about (as you do) and didn’t notice until I had been in the pool a good 20 mins that my legs actually hadn’t been shaved for many weeks, my toe nail polish was quite frankly shoddy, and my legs were wobbling their fluorescent whiteness for all to see. I was instantly horrified with myself for allowing my glam standards to slide to such levels, and spent the next couple of hours trying to hide my legs under water / towels / offspring. It felt as though the entire population of Center Parcs was lining up to prod my hairy legs and laugh, possibly take a picture to share on twitter, when actually I don’t think anyone noticed at all? Especially not my tots who quite frankly couldn’t give a toot! Brilliant post and I whole heartedly agree with you x Thanks for linking with us at #fartglitter! Hope to see you again next week xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Centre Parcs is THE PERFECT place to rock those hairy thighs 😂 FOR SURE!! Love that.
      Sometimes I have to remind myself that no one else cares and stop being paranoid! Loud n proud. … Looking forward to linking up again hunipi xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Nailed it lady. I don’t look at other mums and mentally criticise them….I just think about how great it is to see them and their kids smiling. So why would they do that to me? Have been at the beach today…in shorts and with a week-old fake tan, twice shaved legs (so am rocking a two-tone leg shade situation….super sexy) and I DON’T CARE! Have a blast. So liberating. Love you Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yey for the shorts!! 💗👊🏼 The kids haven’t a clue about cellulite: I’m taking their lead and pleading ALL IGNORANCE!!
      Thanks for commenting lovely, love you too 💗💗💗👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼 xxxx

      Like

  11. I think you’re so right that we should just wear what feels good to wear! I do wish we weren’t fed so many messages about how we ‘should’ look by the media but I think as mums we need to send the right message to the next generation and that involves being happy in our own skin! Funnily enough I’m way more confident about my body now than I was as a teenager – there’s something about growing and birthing life that is so empowering. That said, I wouldn’t show off my thighs in public for anyone. I guess there’s only so empowered I can be. sigh. Thanks for linking to #WhatImwriting

    Liked by 1 person

  12. GO MUMA. I do believe you can pull off what the hell you want to if you rock it with a bit of confidence. I’m pretty sure the mums down the park won’t give a hoot about the state of us all (but in all honesty I am fearful of meeting the new mums at the school gate come September!).
    Lets face it, we have enough to worry about / care about than the state of our hairy legs 🙂
    Thanks for linking up this brilliant read to #coolmumclub.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for your lovely comment!!
      Let’s rock out the legs that may or may not be hair free: who cares!!!
      Thanks for hosting!
      Xxx

      Like

  13. Haha I love this, I am sporting the world’s shortest shorts and I haven’t shaved my legs in three days maybe but it really is just too hot to care! I always notice the little things about me but never about anyone else, maybe I should let it go! #fartglitter

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I love this and you are so right! Everyone is too wrapped up in their own lives to care that my legs are hairy because I can’t really reach them anymore and so just can’t be arsed to try and shave them! And that my toe nails aren’t painted because I also can’t reach those! Every time I think something like this I am going to think of those words “no one else cares”! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Totally repeat the mantra!!
      Those toe nails will still be there next summer all ready for a shape n polish… Xxxx

      Like

  15. Ice cream gut huh? You and me both sista. We’re at swimming lessons 3 times a week in an outdoor pool at a gorgeous seaside lido and on top of that we live right near a beach cafe. As you know we have a long hot summer here in Malta. Do you know HOW much ice cream I’ve already eaten so far?
    But you’re on your own with the strain neck to check butt thing. Aaaargh! How I WISH I’d done that instead of being so complacent about my figure; I was exercising and doing the low carbs thing in the 3 weeks before BML but OMG my bum my BUM! If I’d checked, I’d never have worn those arse-murdering white trousers at the BiBs awards. I have learned from you and will forever check.
    Oh…wait…you said nobody cares. 🙂 #coolmumclub #fartglitter

    Like

    1. I’ve just seen your ass and legs in those white shorts in the beach shot for your almighty WHATS GOING IN IN THE WORLD post: I did not spot the over eating of ice cream there I have to say…!! Haha. You do a Daisy Duke proud my friend, proud xxxxx

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s