Cash splashing baby must-not-haves

There is SO much baby crap out there, all gleaming and shiny just waiting for unsuspecting adoring (petrified) new parents to splash their cash on. 

Sharing is caring, and with this in mind I thought I’d divulge our top 5 parenting purchase nightmares with you… It’s not pretty.

1)A rocking crib.


What a seriously bonkers invention.

This at No.1 because it is without doubt the most rookie of all the bad purchases we made as parents in-waiting. The helpful teen at ‘Babies R us’ swore blind a rocking crib was a new born essential (I’m sure she knew best). Jolly good; we’ll have one of those then.

The first time I attempted to put the baby-that-did-not-sleep into the rocking crib proved that this ‘essential’ was in fact the polar opposite.

Into the crib she went milk-drunk. I looked just like a member of bomb squad edging nearer and nearer to the crib with the armed device, armed with this sleeping new born. One. False. Move… of course the rocking crib did just that– it bloody rocked all over the place. Bam and that was it: baby rave time, mummy cry time.

We tried it a few more times before we chopped it up and used it to re-board our fireplace


2) Gro-Clock


Desperate times call for desperate measures. And we were just that. Our 2 year old had never slept through the night, and never in her own bed. We were trying everything and anything to try and achieve just one night’s sleep before baby No.2 made her appearance.

Make way for The Gro-Clock. Promising that toddlers will obey its creepy sun face.

The Gro clock should come with a warning that you will only be able to figure out how to program the bloody thing if you have the IQ of a frigging genius. I don’t.

It is not simple to use. Even less simple if you are heavily pregnant, sleep deprived and quite literally a Muma on the Edge. When we eventually did get it working our daughter LAUGHED at it. We basically spent £25 on a night light.

Fu*k you Gro clock.

 3) Skirts n headbands: Baby Accessory Gate


Ok let’s get this straight-

Skirts: They ride up. They look awkward. They show off the nappy to its optimum. And it looks SO uncomfortable.

Headbands: I tried, I really did; to dress up my baby’s wispy bald head. I was always paranoid the gypsy-style headbands would slip down and we’d have a horrific ‘strangled’ situation on our hands. More often than not she would rip it off her head and chuck it overboard. (She clearly has more taste than I do!)

Why did I bother?!

Baby No.2 escaped the wannabe Doll phase, onesies forever.

 

4) Holiday with a baby


(Ok this isn’t strictly an ‘item’ but I just felt I couldn’t leave it out of this Rookie list.)

Just why?! If it isn’t hard enough to look after a sub-1 human at home with the entire contents of Mothercare at your fingertips, how do we convince ourselves that a holiday will ever be just that?!

We were so lucky to go away with my parents and sisters when Darcie was 3 months old. A ratio of 7:1 is the ONLY way I would ever recommend a holiday with a baby.

The heat was too hot for her, the cot was too netted for her, the pool was too cold for her, the air was too airy for her, she wouldn’t sleep OR she only wanted to sleep.

How is that a holiday?! That’s just normal life thrown in with a touch of nightmare.

 5) The baby sling


It was awkward. I swore. The baby cried. We gave up: Back to ebay it went.

I have seen serene ‘Baby Carriers’ in the real so it must be possible to front tie, back tie, strap up and pop the bambino in. I however found it impossible: frustrating and confusing in equal measure, and frankly a complete and utter bloody mystery.

I tried again and again to get to grips with Slinging. I tried different brands with ties, & knots to clips & Velcro. I ended up looking like id been subjected to Mummification; Wrapped up in endless cloth with a screaming baby hanging out of the front of me.Bugaboo I salute you.

So come on- spill the beans on your useless baby impulse buys…!!???? 

Best of Worst
Mummuddlingthrough
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I am a Muma to 2 little girls, aged 5 & 2. We are seaside dwellers, and I 'only work inside the house' according to my eldest. I love to share the funny side of parenting as well as boldly going where no right minded parents of toddlers would go: to restaurants. Seeking out the most child friendly joints and passing on my findings to all of you to enjoy! I'm basically blogging my way back to sanity!

65 thoughts on “Cash splashing baby must-not-haves

    1. It’s always after the packaging is thrown away isn’t it- that’s why those NCT sales seem like gold dust, it’s all brand new crap no one actually needs!! 😖 xxx

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  1. I agree with the majority of these, although we did like our swinging crib after we’d worked out how to stop it swinging. But I would also add to that a baby mobile! We bought a pricey mine from mamas and papas, but it would only fit on his cot bed, in his room. He slept in our room until he was 11 months, so it never came out of the box.

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  2. There is so much stuff you can spend money on when you first become a parent. I never got on with a baby sling either and felt like a new-mum failure for preferring pushing my baby in pram rather than carrying on my chest. But…I have to say, my daughter loved her Gro-Clock and it did help to keep her in bed just that little bit longer in the morning. She still uses it now and she’s 6, so we’ve definitely got our moneys worth. But, on the whole, most stuff you can buy for babies you can live without! #BloggerClubUK

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    1. You know what- I’ve been totally outnumbered on the Gro-clock, general consensus is that they are blooming brilliant!! I obviously have an especially different child 😖😱**!!
      Glad I’m not alone in the tangled mess that is baby wearing. I LOVE a Pram, I have a bit of an addiction to them actually… Not sure what I shall do when it’s not needed anymore xxx

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      1. Didn’t bother with the gro clock, got an ordinary light timer for his bedside lamp. Lamp on, you can get up, lamp off, still night time. Helped us through a couple of winters when it would still be dark when it was time to get up so he thought 4am was ok! He’s now six and last year Santa brought a much wanted Lego clock, it has a digital display so he’s now told what the numbers have to be before its ok to wake mummy! This one is a bit hit and miss with the bright summer mornings when he just assumes the clock is wrong!

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      2. That’s a great idea- a lamp timer!! I like that one a lot. I stealing that one!
        THANK YOU!! 😘

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  3. There is so much stuff you can spend money on. I never got on with a baby sling either and felt like a new-mum failure for preferring pushing my baby in pram rather than carrying on my chest. But…I have to say, my daughter loved her Gro-Clock and it did help to keep her in bed just that little bit longer in the morning. She still uses it now and she’s 6, so we’ve definitely got our moneys worth. But, on the whole, most stuff you can buy for babies is designed to part you with your hard earned cash! #BloggerClubUK

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  4. My youngest (now 7) won’t let me take the freaky clock thing away. He’s had it since he was 2. As long as I do the same (kind-of-memorised-now-just-an-impulsive-pre-programmed thumb-rhythm) button pressing each night (curved-curved-round) it works. But I’m the parent who bought a mini steamer and pureeing decide for our first holiday away (because boiling water and a fork wouldn’t have produced the same result, apparently) , so what do I know! However, our most pointless purchase ever was the world’s most expensive high chair (one of those fancy Swedish wooden things – all flare surfaces and fend shui) which you basically have to break your child’s legs to insert them successfully. Chucked that, bought a cheapo one from mothercare which lasted three children and 6 years. Great post!! X

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  5. I couldn’t agree more. Especially with the gro clock my boys really didn’t care that the light didn’t come on to tell then that it was morning.
    When at 2 years old they want to cry for the story you read 10 times the night before at 5 am they will burst into your room. Light or no light.

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    1. Don’t get sucked in…
      Mothercare hypnotises you with the mini outfits on entry and forces you to buy a major amount of crud!! Xxx

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  6. Very funny – you have hit the nail on the head there – a whole industry to squeeze money out of the desperate and sleep deprived. I personally have a whole section in my kitchen dedicated to all the weaning crap I bought to try and make my daughter just EAT SOMETHING! Bowls that definitely do not stick to the table and lots of different type of spoon. Luckily I have a massive house with too much storage space and money to burn… no, wait. I haven’t!
    x Alice
    #coolmumclub

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    1. I just laughed out loud!
      I have a whole cupboard that is stuffed full of sippy plastic suctioned crapola: I have tips that don’t fit any bottles, bowls and plates that don’t match any others (mostly from Easter egg sets 👍) and the best bit is: each time I open the cupboard one of these ghastly items falls out and whacks me in the face.
      (Yes I need to put time aside for kitchen organisation…!!!) xxxx

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  7. We were lent a rocking crib and it was a nightmare because unless you place baby exactly in the centre, the cot ends up hanging on a slant all night. We just ended up keeping it on the locked setting the whole time.

    Our Gro Clock has been brilliant, though, for keeping our 5yo in bed until the time she’s allowed to get up. It’s not easy to use, though. I have instructions for it on my laptop that I have to print out every time she stays at grandma’s house! haha. #CoolMumClub

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  8. At 39 weeks pregnant my house is full of ‘baby crap’ that I have been given by friends whose children have outgrown it. The only problem is, I don’t feel like I can rationalise it until I know what works and doesn’t for Pea, which means I currently have 3 baby bouncers / swing seats and 3 different types of baby carrier. I guess it’s a good thing I’ve not had to buy any of it, but baby stuff takes up so much space that the house feels like it’s fit to burst! #coolmumclub

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    1. How many baby bouncers?! Hehe. Well one for upstairs and one for downstairs- and a garden seat! How very posh!!
      Good luck with your BirthDay 👊🏼👍🙌🙌 very exciting times xxxx

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  9. too true re the gro clock. I bloody hate it. its a nightmare to set and if it gets turned off you have to reset it. and little man figured out how to switch it to day time! im with you on holidays too. we had a similar experience on a 2:1 ration and he got ill too. fanbloodytastic #BloggerClubUK

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    1. Holiday what sorry now who?!?! Haha.
      I could have won a family trip to the Bahamas and I would have refused it: that’s how deep my horror runs of baby holidays 😂😂😂 xxx

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  10. This is hilarious, really made me giggle!! I have to disagree with the baby carrier, we love our Connecta and use it more than our pram, so definitely an essential for us. Our most useless item was a moses basket – EVERYONE told us not to bother, that we wouldn’t use it, but we ignored them and bought one. Then I gave birth to a giant who grew out of it at 6 weeks – honestly I was scared he was going to roll it off the stand, he was so heavy! Lesson learnt for next time, we’ll buy a bedside cot!! #bestandworst

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    1. Haha this made me laugh!! A giant baby! My friends baby was too big for the Moses basket from birth- she was distraught he never used it (along with all the 0-3 month clothing she had bought new and washed… So couldn’t return!!)
      Xxx

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    1. You carry a 3 year old in a sling? That’s amazing!! I do feel a bit for your back though!! I think my 5 yr old would climb into a sling if I let her nowadays- she loves a carry😂🙈 xxx

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  11. This is brilliant. Completely agree with the holiday, my daughter is 19 months and I still haven’t taken her abroad yet. I’d rather wait until she is old enough to enjoy it. I have taken her on mini UK breaks though since the age of 3 months and let’s just say these breaks are spread far apart as you need plenty of time to rest after the break itself haha! Headbands. The bane of my life. The amount of headbands I got for my daughter as a newborn and she just didn’t want them on. They look cute sure but they don’t look comfy for them. It’s only now at 19 months is she keeping one in because she knows it keeps her long fringe out of her face whilst it rows. Great little post. #bestandworst

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    1. Do you know what- we are braving it and taking our 5&2 yr olds away for 2 nights ALONE next week to Blackpool!! We’ve never been but I think it sounds pretty kid-friendly: rides/sand/chips. What could go wrong..??
      Have you been on one of your Uk breaks? If so I’d love any tips please!! Xxx

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  12. I am so with you on this! We had a baby carrier and used it a grand total of twice. It was like having a baby dinosaur swinging from my neck. Not for me! If I might also add “bottle warmers”. Seems a bit expensive I thought? – Ah well, at least the little light comes on to tell you that the bottle is the right temperature. It doesn’t. It comes on to tell you that it has been switched on for a bit. We spent actual pounds on something that warms up water approximately 76 times slower than a kettle. Then you stand your bottle in it? How’s about just boiling the kettle and pouring it into a jug and then standing your bottle in that. Great post and had me nodding along with you!
    #coolmumclub x

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    1. Ah thanks for the nodding!!
      And yes bottle warmers are up there with the worlds most useless pointless baby money wasters for sure. I saw someone with a baby food heater once: next level shizzle.
      Xxx

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  13. The sling (well, baby carrier) was a total lifesaver for me – I don’t think I would have made it through the past year without it. I’m still using it with my almost-14-month-old, in fact. I’m with you on the baby headbands, though – my daughter just ripped them off her head. #coolmumclub

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  14. Thank god someone else couldn’t work the gro clock either ! Useless. Also, yes re holidays with kids . Why are they still called holidays ? They bear absolutely no resemblance to a holiday. #brillblogposts

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  15. Yep to the gro-clock we’ve had it a year and I have know clue how to programme it. The 3yo doesn’t care it’s there he just throws open the curtains and yells mummy its morning at me! Which isn’t great in summer as its light at 5am and he thinks it’s time to get up lol #bestandworst

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  16. This gave me a good giggle..a couple of these worked a dream for us though (sorry!)…the Gro-clock with our first daughter (eventually…) and the wrap for my second (yep I actually FINALLY mastered how to baby wear. Probably because I needed to be hands free and she was so tiny for ages…
    I would definitely agree with the rocking cot thing, and baby accessories…aargh baby shoes total waste of time 🙂
    Thanks for being a #coolmumclub linker hun! See you when we’re back x

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    1. Hats off to you for mastering The Cloth 😂👏🙌
      Have a brilliant summer- looking forward to linking back up in Sept… Xxx

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      1. 24/7 might have been a bit overkill: teeny, tiny bit 😂😂😂🤔
        Love it- and blooming love a YouTube tutorial!! Xxx

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  17. Ohh I’ve been considering a rocking cot but thinking about it now it does seem like a disaster waiting to happen!Never heard of the group clock but it sounds pointless. We bought a special nappy bin thing but we never used it once we used up the free refill bags, which didn’t take long by the way xx #coolmumclub

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  18. Haha, that bloody Gro Clock is a friggin nightmare. We finally worked out the lock mechanism, only for Archie to switch it off at the plug… The creepy sun came up at 2am cos he’d reset the bloody thing!! Nightmare! #coolmumclub

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  19. Oh dear…..I did all of these and actually don’t think they are a waste of time. The rocking crib we had was fab for those wake ups in the middle of the night to gently lull her back to sleep. The gro-clock we still use now and it did get us a few extra mins in bed, the headbands I loved on my daughter and skirts I loved too. We holidayed with my both my son and daughter from a very young age and have always had a wonderful time. I did use a baby carrier rather than a sling but not for very long however. So I feel actually for myself these items aren’t a waste of time but they were all used but everyone is different and each to their own 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up with the #bestandworst hope you’ll stop by again.

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  20. I brought in to the whole sling thing but baby K hated it after 30 minutes so that was the last time that got used! A sleep bag never worked for us either but I was given that so didn’t feel too bad about not using it. The one thing I was most disappointed in was a Mamas and Papas swing, my sister in law brought it after I asked for one and what a load of crap it was! I ended up buying a bright start bouncer which was cheaper, clearly a lot more comfortable and go thoroughly used x #BloggerClubUK

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  21. Agree with so much on this list! We were giving a rocking crib and my daughter seemed to hate it. The baby sling too probably worked for us for all of one week – but then I couldn’t actually do much anyway as they are pretty restrictive! My sister swears by their gro clock but we are yet to have any luck with ours! x #coolmumclub

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  22. Haha this is brilliant – I’m with you there! We bought one skirt and then quickly realised that as cute as it looks, it is totally impractical and trousers or shorts is absolutely fine…oh and don’t get me started on headbands, I didn’t realise there are babies who don’t have a meltdown when you put anything on their head? Fab post xx #coolmumclub

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  23. 2 boys, but same here, number two was in onesies for ages. So much more comfortable! And I never got on with baby wearing. I am not a contortionist, it was back achingly painful and it made me and baby too hot! I know all that means I wasn’t doing it right, but it was far too complicated! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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  24. I’m completely with you on these! I haven’t ever tried a rocking crib as they looked far too tricky to negotiate a sleeping baby into! The Gro-Clock we were given for a review and we said it was too tricky to program also, we use it as a nightlight now! 🙂

    #brillblogposts

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    1. You chose wisely to stay away from the Rocker!! What a bonkers idea they are…
      I would have loved one of those cots that attach to the bed: much better! Xx

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  25. This is brilliant!!! I’m with you, there truly is a lot of crap out there that first time parents just feel they HAVE to buy. We also succumbed to the blasted Gro Clock and also had trouble programming it only for my toddler to totally ignore it every single day! I loved the idea of those baby slings, but it would take me forever to get the bloomin thing on and out the door so I’d frequently give up and resort back to the pram. Other useless buys include a bottle heater (Id rather use a jug of hot water than spend £xxx). Great list. #CoolMumClub X

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    1. Those bottle heaters have come up again and again since I wrote this post: defo a money waster right there!! What’s wrong with a jug of water?! Haha or a cold bottle like my youngest got lumbered with!! Xx

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  26. Ha ha, we also invested in the groclock, it worked quite well for us at first, now it is also just an expensive night light 🙂 xx #coolmumclub

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  27. Haha! Love this. There are so many gadget and gizmos that look so very cool before baby comes along… not so much when they actually arrive. We didn’t buy it ourselves…. but the Moses basket lasted little more than 2 weeks! Thank you for linking up to the #dreamteam

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  28. So true! Never attempted a headband on a baby. Even my toddlers don’t wear them – they just take them off! Our rocking crib was never used in rocking mode, the pin was always in so it was just a normal crib. The rock on gthem is insane!

    Thanks so much for joining us on #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next time

    Liked by 1 person

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