Formula haters- you did not pick a good day to mess…

I’m in a seriously sweary mood today, it’s 3 weeks since my last silent coffee. Ordinarily sweary wouldn’t  be a problem. You’d never have known that I’ve shouted expletives into the fridge with the frequency of a bad case of Tourette’s today.
Usually you’d be none the wiser….
But I saw a blog post judging women who formula feed their babies, even suggesting that women that choose to formula feed are somewhat uneducated: and I’ve been giving all the fucking fucks for this. My swear jar (like I have one of those! Pah!) would be overflowing. I’d have saved for the Christmas splurge in an hour. 

What gives anyone the right to judge mothers who formula feed! It’s been a while since I let my mind wander back to our #breastisbest journey. Basically one clear thought ran through my mind: 

Get back in your bastarding box, pretty please

I’ll admit this is a sore subject for me (literally- if you’ve ever tried breastfeeding you might relate!). 
I take maje offence to anyone slating Apamil and the like. Without this my baby wouldn’t have survived! With a projectile case of reflux I was told to express milk and add this magic powder to aid the ample Pukage which had covered every surface of our home over those first few months of manic Babydom. 

My anxious awol confusion of a brain simply couldn’t handle the timing of expressing, feeding, winding, sleeping, expressing, freezing, powder mixing, winding mind-fuck of a routine. 

-How do you think I came up with the name ‘Muma on the Edge’ in the first place?! 

Formula was mine and my baby’s life line. Once we had made the decision to switch to formula the relief was mahoosive. Finally someone else could feed / wind / clear up the puke. I could share the hum drum newborn survival routine with my husband (or anyone else who was offering!). My anxiety levels began to reset and I actually gave myself moments to enjoy this mum thang. 

Guess what: my baby was less sick AND began to thrive. Well well- formula being responsible for a baby THRIVING. Did you hear that haters? 
And I assure you I am not uneducated, I even have a degree AND a private education, fancy! I engaged brain and made a conscious decision to saunter down to Tescos and buy up a crate of Aptamil Nectar.

No one raised any eyebrows as I bought the illicit products either. Bottles, a steamy cleaner, even DUMMIES… Oh yeh, to fuck with it, I went the whole sodding hog. 
Here’s a confession for you: the 2nd time around I chose to bottle feed after just 3 weeks. Because I wanted to. 

I’ll skate over the fact that my left boobage refused to refill. It looked a little like the surgeon had forgotten to pop the silicon in my sad looking pyramid tea bag to my left. Selfishly I wanted my body back, I wanted to wear clothes that didn’t unhook and flap open. After 9 months of growing a baby I needed to be in charge of me again. 

It wasn’t that I was frightened of breast feeding in public, no one had ever made me feel uneasy. I simply chose. And I’m not a bad person btw. I can be quite nice- if I like you…  

My girls are now 6 and 3, they walk, talk, run,hop, skip, answer back, learn, wash, cartwheel, swim, eat, and, touch wood, have never been in hospital. So far I’m not seeing any adverse effects from our formula decision. All present and correct thanks very much. 

So Judgey McJudgeface, before throwing your magic wand of Formula hate around why not locate a ladder, clamber down from that trogan horse and rejoin the rest of us on cloud normal. Please. 
#fedisbest bitches. 

Yup, looking fairly healthy here- blackberries in the potty might pose some questions however…

Beat the January Blues with my Pamper Hamper Giveaway!

To enter the Pamper Hamper Giveaway is simple! Please  comment at the bottom of this post or on my facebook post telling me why you need this hamper in your life, and then like and share the facebook post please. It really is that easy!
I have lots of brilliant giveaways coming up so please like my facebook page to make sure you don’t miss out over the coming weeks!
The winner will be announced on Sunday 15th January and the pamper hamper will be given to the Muma whose need for these goodies is head and shoulders above the rest – or makes me laugh until I cry! The challenge is on girls: Good Luck!

Welcome to my first giveaway of 2017 – it’s a corker!

By around this point in January the novelty of the shiny new year is nothing more than a dot in the distance for me. Let’s face it- it’s just dreary January, let’s not try and dress it up. De-icing the car before the school run and trying to get a hat and gloves on an unwilling just-turned-3 year old who has chosen to wear her swimming costume to nursery, because… well, why not. Is no mean feat.

So, in an attempt to beat the January blues this year I have teamed up with some great brands to bring you a month of giveaways!

To kick off, I am offering you the chance to win the Muma of all hampers: The Pamper Hamper! Packed with with over £80 worth of goodies- all chosen with you in mind. (I’m so sorry but I couldn’t run to Tom Hardy- he’s  all booked up with various story reading contracts).

What’s up for grabs?

I have included a little gift from me to you, see, I do love you!  None other than Katie Kirkby’s  pee-in-your-pants Times best seller: Hurrah for Gin is one of my favourite blogs to follow, so if you haven’t got a copy of Katie’s parenting manual (it’s definitely a manual!) then here is your chance.

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I have a soft spot for this genius blogger-come-book writer not only because of her ability to make a nation of Muma’s loose their shit over a collection of stick men, but also because she is from Brighton: my ends. Enjoy this, it was a 2016 highlight of mine!

What else?

  • How about some MojiTEA to sip on? Bit like Mojito but you can drink and drive with this kind, and who wants to walk anywhere in January right? Thanks to my fave Baca’s Coffee Bar in Seaford for this gem!

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  •  The Tangle Angel. Apparently there was a recent statistic suggesting that we should throw out our hairbrush on an annual basis. (Therefore I should probably be keeping this item for myself based on the fact that I’m pretty sure my current brush is pre-kids.) Anyway, with that in mind, New year New hairbrush, I give you: The Tangle Angel. This one is a bit special too, even celebrities use it – Kim K no less! They are not immune to tangles you know…

  • The Shine Bar is quite genius. My girls like to empty shower gel, shampoo, my face wash – you name it, into little pots to make’potions’. Basically, making frigging expensive concoctions of MY stuff. Nothing is sacred anymore. Anyway, this Shine Bar gets you a 1-0: kids can’t squeeze this out. It’s a bar! I love it, what’s more, it’s from an uber trendy salon in the Brighton lanes: Shine and smells divine.

Get Defensive

  • You just have to look at the playground or over the playgroup threshold  to catch some kind of revolting lurgy at this time of year. To help nip this is the bud and get one step ahead of the hacking coughs and rouge nose look you can have yourself, and your kiddliwinks, some Sabubcol.  This should give you a bit of a 1 up on germs, and make for a more harmonious January.

 

  • The legends who brought us the famous Rescue Remedy have also got a Rescue Plus. These tablets fizz into water to make a serious drink with benefits, and should give you a much needed energy boost, to help you deal with whatever your kiddliwinks choose to throw your way! (well, almost anything – please note: this isn’t gummy berry juice!)


 

Well there we have it- a bag of goodies delivered right to your door, especially for you.

All you have to do, is enter via my facebook page.

Good Luck!

Love from

Muma on the Edge

 
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