Why we all need to be tuning into Ross Kemp’s final series of Extreme World this Sunday

There are very few things on the box that Dan and I will agree on watching together. We are stuck in a black hole of ‘must see’ golfing re-runs when the PGA tour is having a rest day, or playing catch up with Eastenders- justifying Dot Cotton’s presence in our living room every few minutes. 

Sofa Time is precious, and TV is our high five for getting both of the kids off to the land of Nod. 

It is therefore a rare thing to discover a series which appeals to the both of us, equally. No negotiating needed. It is rarer still for a series to prompt us to actually engage in conversation past 9pm. Jack Bower used to take the gold for that. And mostly because I needed the plot translated into novice-24 lingo. 

And then we discovered ‘Extreme World’.

A program so shockingly gritty, so real and so goddamn ‘ard that we were hooked. Ross Kemp is what I’d politely describe as a ‘straight talker’… He makes Grant Mitchell look like Milhouse, y’know- Bart’s mate. 

What makes this gripping TV stand out from the rest is the bravery of this team to travel to some of the most dangerous places on earth. Treading a fine line between life and death, Kemp never fails to break into the heart of whatever abomination he is exposing. 

Exclusive…

Jamie Welham, Extreme World Producer, international hard hitting journalist and owner of a passport with some seriously impressive visas, agreed to share his thoughts with me on this hotly anticipated final series:

“It’s been a real privilege working on such an ambitious and wide reaching series. The team continuously manage to get access to people and places others can’t, to shine a light on some of the world’s most urgent and underreported issues. 

My personal highlight was travelling to the Sahara desert to document the brutal migrant journey across Libya – a situation that desperately needed to be brought to wider attention and with a humanity that has been lacking. 

At a time when the world seems to be becoming more inward looking and scared of people from different cultures, I think foreign reportage like Extreme World has never been more important and necessary.

It’s a real shame it’s come to an end.”

I would love to know just how Welham manages to contact and, what’s more, pursusade the underbelly of the world to divulge dangerous, often gruesome and usually incriminating truths. It is undoubtedly this access that leaves me utterly captivated.

True hard-man stripes were awarded having been held at gun point in Papua New Guinea in 2014 by proper thug-life guerrillas. Instead of wetting himself and running away like the majority of the population might have done, the cameras continued to roll. 
His distinctive husk came out with:

“Are you gonna kill me? No one’s gonna f*****g kill me!”

We believed  him. 

Thankfully so did the mob carrying the AK47’s. 

We fought back the tears as we watched ‘Libya’s Migrant Hell’, a one off aired late last year and Welham’s Extreme World highlight. We had read and watched various updates on the migrant crisis, fed to us by the mainstream media; only death rates and percentages seem to sell papers. What the team from Extreme World did, and always do, was trace this global problem back to the source. Exposing humanity in it’s most desperate, and dangerous of states. It was completely captivating and led me to write this.

Just when you think Kemp has interviewed his last sickening criminal, the viewers are slapped around the face with a trump card. The human traffiker who admitted killing 400, or maybe 500 girls (he couldn’t remember) having taken and sold over 7000 girls, some as young as 12 is without doubt the worst, most shocking revelation the Extreme World team have ever uncovered. Kemp and his translator were left speechless, understandably shaken by this monster’s disclouse. 

It is this depth of reporting, and this insight into the murkiest of worlds that raises awareness by getting these issues into our front rooms. 

It’s easy to forget as we rush about on the school run and supermarket sweep the hell out of Asda, that we do live in an extreme world. There is nothing else on the telly box which gets to the heart of the matter, nothing else picks off the scabs of society quite like the team at ‘Extreme World’ do. 

So they’ll be no fighting over the remote in our house this Sunday evening; We’ll be on Sky 1 at 9pm a hot choc and custard cream in hand as Kemp takes on Texas and the much feared Ku Klux Klan in the hugely anticipated 6th and final series of Extreme World. Set Poldark to record: there’s a new hero in town. 

Extreme World airs Sunday 9pm Sky 1

With special thanks to Jamie Welham: You can follow Jamie’s adventures on twitter @jamiewelham 

Absolutely fabulously fabulous, Darhling: 

 I remember as a tweenie watching Eddy and Pasty get their swag on; a Stoli-Bolli in one hand and a Marlboro Light in the other, swamped in fur all topped off with a crazed hair do: bigger is better. (It’s their booze, fags n fur I might add, I was all set with a lemon squash thanks – my eyes on stalks.) Let’s just say it set the benchmark for adulthood… although I may have taken a wrong turn somewhere – right into Lynnet Scavo’s  life. *shakes head* The universe had other ideas!

‘Paddy’s’ friendship is infectious. I want in.

 

I want to be their sidekick. To be in their gang wearing a hideous Versace medallion perfectly clashing with my Alexander McQueen cape and Burberry knee highs. Crashing flash parties whilst they desperately try new fads to stay hipity hop hip. They don’t notice that all around them are raised eyebrows, a daughter who must have a great relationship with the receptionist at The Priory by now, and a totally bonkers mother. They are oblivious in their bid to keep up with the twentysomethings, loving life – one bottle of bollie at a time.

“The last mosquito that bit me had the check into the Betty Ford clinic” – Patsy: just saying.

I would actually like to be patsy… For a day. Please?!

This latest instalment is promised to take us right back to the 90’s – which isn’t a bad thing given the shenanigans of 2016 so far. The hey day of our Pats n Eds dahrling; where the cocaine flows, and the fash pack are on speed dial. This time around Eddie gets blamed for killing Kate Moss (accidents will happen…) in true Thema and Louise style the gruesome twosome make a run for it to the playground of the super rich. A little bit silly, bound to be a lot funny.

If the trailers are anything to go by this is going to be worth the gazillion squid for the cinema ticket, the parking, the popcorn and the drinks. Oh yes, seeing these 2 lunatics lording it up on a 2o ft screen for a couple of hours is most definitely worth a score my ‘sweetie dahrlings’.

Who else shares my uber love of this scrumptious double act?

*desperately trying to not be as sweary.

See the trailer here!

Absolutely Fabulous Movie is out Friday 1st July

 

10 hacks to nail your CenterParcs Longleat break…

*Not a sponsored post*

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We have just come back from our debut family weekend trip to CentreParcs. Here are my top hacks I’ll be referring back to for next time – and yes, there will be a next time: Toddlers are not aliens here.

    1. Arrive for 10am & head to the pool – Although you won’t have access to your lodge until 3pm (2pm if you pay the supplement) you can use the facilities on site from 10am. We were told at the CenterParcs check in point that we couldn’t use the pool until 2pm, we obeyed and instead dragged 2 kids around in the rain until it was time for us to check in. However, others in our party did use the pool from 10am with no problem at all, and this is what we would do next time for sure! (There wasn’t a Rottweiler guarding the entrance!)longleat pool map
    2. Hire Bikes: from 11am on day of arrival. It’s by far the quickest and easiest way to get around CenterParcs. There are brilliant cycle routes, and the fact that cars have to be in the main car park by 10pm on the day of your arrival means you are safe from traffic, apart from the odd service vehicle. Our girls are 2 & 5 so we hired a carriage for the back of Dan’s bike (lucky him!) The girls LOVED it. Even better is the serious amount of storage behind the seats for carting around all of the usual ‘under the buggy’ crap. You can hire balance bikes, bikes with stabilisers, traditional chick cycles and mountain bikes. They were all really good condition and came with locks.
    3. Pay to be central. Yes, it is extra – again. But the site is huge, and if like us you have 2 small children in tow the last thing we wanted was long hikes between the pool and our lodge. We figured this is where our girls would be most keen to hang out and so choose a lodge as close as possible. It minimised tantrums and cycling effort (I had no idea how unfit I am, CenterParcs is massive!) so worth the extra £ at the point of booking.
    4. Afternoons at the pool. The difference between the mornings and afternoons in the pool was unbelievable. The famous CenterParcs pool opens at 10am – Think Black Friday, with the amount of people waiting to get into the changing rooms on the dot of 10. The queues for the 4 big slides were seriously long, 20 minutes was the longest we waited for. The outside pool was so packed it was like watching pasta come to the boil! The afternoon was the opposite, especially on the day we arrived. We pretty much had the place to ourselves.Longleat_subtropical_swimming_paradise_header_1920x500
    5. Bring inflatables & Bucket n spades with you- and don’t get ripped off! We bought a beach ball in Morrisons for 99p. The exact same beach ball was being sold at CenterParcs for £5.99! We also took a bucket and spade each to the pool. There are sandpits in the toddler area. Yes, I was crouched over in my bikini making a Dinosaur nest: Because of course,  we were at Jurrassic Park, not Center Parcs. Mild confusion for entire trip as Toddler Monster roared her way around the place in search of a T Rex. There is also a sandy beach around the lake for keen diggers… beach6. BOOK BOOK BOOK! If you want to do it, Book it. The activities at CenterParcs get really booked up, especially things like the horse riding, children’s jet skis and the tree tops high wires. Although with the massive pool, the adventure playgrounds, & lake-beach you could get away without doing extras if you have under 5’s. Click here for the list of included activities. The Pancake house was seriously popular, we couldn’t get in without a booking on our first attempt to stuff ourselves stupid. We had more success when we arrived for when it opened at 11am. It has a lovely sunny terrace out the back, the pancakes were delicious – and almost guilt free thanks to the cycling! Next time I’d love to book into the Spa…pancake pic

 

  • 7. Take a BBQ & kitchen essentials. They do sell pretty much everything you need in the little shop at CenterParcs, but you’ll pay a premium for it, and you won’t have your car boot handy to pop it all in to take home… So it’s a good idea to plan out if you will be eating in or out and take your supplies with you. (Even down to the nitty gritty of washing up liquid, loo roll and bin bags! Oh the glamour!) The lodges all have outdoor tables and chairs with a BBQ area, we made use of it one evening and it was lovely amongst the trees!
  • 8. Restaurants at Center Parcs: The sports bar is on the lake, in the big sports complex. It serves Weatherspoons style grub. Not particularly special BUT it serves wine, AND has a soft play area which our girls loved. Tick, tick. Café Rouge is in the Plaza and is one of only 2 places that serve breakfast. Again, it has a little soft play area. The only thing about Café Rouge is that it has a stream with no fences running in between the tables with fish in. If you have a wobbly toddler then you’ll be on your guard… But it is pretty! Hucks is the American restaurant and serves your burger / steak / chip classics. It does a children’s buffet which was basic kids food, but good value. It has a soft play for toddlers, an adventure play Castle for the older ones and an i-station for older kids. VERY child friendly and serve a mean Daiquiri. There are a couple of Starbucks (plaza & Sports complex) No soft play… but essential caffeine fix to get around all of the activities and pander to whinging kids.Cafe rouge9. Take your joggers, some decent swimwear & get a Tan! There is absolutely no point taking anything nice to wear. Embrace the opportunity to leave your skinnys at home, cycling in them would be impossible and so uncomfortable! Pack wellies, trainers and hair bands: no heels needed! Same for the kids. I did however have a spray tan. Knowing I’d be spending more time standing out of the pool than submerged I decided it would be a good investment. Well, tanned cellulite always looks better doesn’t it… Same applies for the bikini. Get a tight one – those slides are fast. You know what I’m saying. 
  • 10. LONGLEAT SAFARI PARK is literally 3 minutes up the road from the main CenterParcs entrance. We did this on the Monday, our check out day. You can stay in the park and use all of the facilities as long as you are out of your lodge by 10am. But if you haven’t been to Longleat zoo then you just have to do it! There always seem to be a few deals online for booking tickets in advance. We arrived before 10am and had the safari in our car almost to ourselves. Lions, roamed around our car, we fed Deers out of the passenger window, saw Tigers a few meters away… It was incredible. RECOMMEND RECOMMEND RECOMMEND!
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